Sugflatbem is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, ill-tempered tapir.

Sugflatbem created time and space two years ago.

If you believe in Sugflatbem, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sugflatbem, he will think nothing of it.

Sugflatbem's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Sugflatbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed rice to eagles while wearing ear rings.

2. Never write about dark energy.

3. Do not keep four squirrels in a large pit.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. You must pray to Sugflatbem three times a day.