Yarpdagdiss is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, vain cobra.

Yarpdagdiss created Africa five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpdagdiss, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yarpdagdiss, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Yarpdagdiss' most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Yarpdagdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Yarpdagdiss must be the most important thing in your life.