Vonpodbag is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, grumpy squid.

Vonpodbag created gold three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonpodbag, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Vonpodbag, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Vonpodbag's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Vonpodbag's Holy Commandments

1. Vonpodbag loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Vonpodbag.

4. Never jump in the presence of bats.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.