Hivtailjadzodlakrill Vanfarnbus is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, happy salamander.

Hivtailjadzodlakrill Vanfarnbus created life three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivtailjadzodlakrill Vanfarnbus, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hivtailjadzodlakrill Vanfarnbus, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Hivtailjadzodlakrill Vanfarnbus' most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Hivtailjadzodlakrill Vanfarnbus' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near mites while wearing indigo corsets.

2. Hivtailjadzodlakrill Vanfarnbus loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

3. Never feed oranges to moths while wearing red stockings.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.