Quimtenbop is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, stupid lobster.

Quimtenbop created Mount Everest eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimtenbop, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Quimtenbop, she will refuse to believe in you.

Quimtenbop's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Quimtenbop's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not wear brown clothing.

4. Never talk about shrews.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Quimtenbop.