Getjampark is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, overgenerous cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Getjampark created life seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Getjampark, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Getjampark, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Getjampark's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Getjampark's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick goats.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.