Nibzodhom Hasbisszig is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unthinking pig.

Nibzodhom Hasbisszig created the Sun six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nibzodhom Hasbisszig, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nibzodhom Hasbisszig, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Nibzodhom Hasbisszig's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Nibzodhom Hasbisszig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near geese while wearing purple boots.

2. Always help shrews in need.

3. Nibzodhom Hasbisszig must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never skip in the presence of seals.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.