Bompidtif is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, strong seal.

Bompidtif created life eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bompidtif, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bompidtif, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bompidtif's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Bompidtif's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from purple geese, for they are unholy.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Worship no other gods but Bompidtif.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate foxes.

5. Do not make images of living things.