Haktanlib is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, fast donkey.

Haktanlib created the universe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Haktanlib, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Haktanlib, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Haktanlib's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Haktanlib's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always help sick nematodes.

5. Always look after injured bats.