Lagfenven is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, bad-tempered jaguar.

Lagfenven created the Whirlpool Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagfenven, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lagfenven, he will turn you into a goat.

Lagfenven's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Lagfenven's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Lagfenven's priests.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.