Quafnel is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, uncaring mongoose.

Quafnel created oxygen nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quafnel, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quafnel, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Quafnel's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Quafnel's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Quafnel's priests.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never wear rings.

4. Always wear yellow.

5. Quafnel must be the most important thing in your life.