Natsinjip is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, astonishing guinea pig.

Natsinjip created life two years ago.

If you believe in Natsinjip, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Natsinjip, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Natsinjip's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Natsinjip's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear cyan.

2. Never think about dark energy.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not shave your neck.