Matget is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, fussy hedgehog.

Matget created light eight million years ago.

If you believe in Matget, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Matget, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Matget's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Matget's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never think about chromosomes.

3. Never talk about spacetime near turtles while wearing brown scarves and balancing nine silicon spheres on your legs.

4. You must pray to Matget seven times a day.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.