Pidgepwod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, omniscient hippopotamus.

Pidgepwod created the planet Venus five billion years ago.

If you believe in Pidgepwod, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pidgepwod, he will turn you into a mole.

Pidgepwod's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Pidgepwod's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think about electromagnetism.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near ants while wearing purple rings and balancing four iron spheres on your feet.

4. Never think about spacetime near sheep while wearing cyan skirts and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your legs.

5. You must pray to Pidgepwod nine times a day.