Dodqueegstig is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, dishonest bat.

Dodqueegstig created the Andromeda Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dodqueegstig, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dodqueegstig, he will be very unhappy.

Dodqueegstig's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Dodqueegstig's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

2. Never mention pigs.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always help squirrels.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.