Mutkiping is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, fast human.

Mutkiping created everything that exists three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mutkiping, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Mutkiping, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Mutkiping's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Mutkiping's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

2. Never eat tomatoes.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near frogs while wearing brown jumpers and balancing four tin spheres on your hands.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never go into pink rooms.