Yarpsinmut is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, moody chinchilla.

Yarpsinmut created water four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpsinmut, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Yarpsinmut, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Yarpsinmut's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Yarpsinmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck black.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Hide if six sheep approach from the south.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near foxes while wearing pink corsets and balancing five platinum spheres on your chest.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.