Bessmegarm is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, merciful zebra.

Bessmegarm created the universe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessmegarm, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bessmegarm, he will torture you forever.

Bessmegarm's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Bessmegarm's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never paint your arms black.

4. Never wear ear rings.

5. Do not speak about cherries.