Bassbatvig is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, self-confident troll.

Bassbatvig created the Black Eye Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bassbatvig, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bassbatvig, he will turn you into a worm.

Bassbatvig's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Bassbatvig's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear white.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Run away from fawn foxes, for they are unholy.

4. Do not take Bassbatvig's name in vain.

5. Bassbatvig must be the most important thing in your life.