Lopcitfod is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, witless wombat.

Lopcitfod created vertebrates twelve years ago.

If you believe in Lopcitfod, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Lopcitfod, she will cry a lot.

Lopcitfod's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Lopcitfod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not speak about gooseberries.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always stare at clouds.