Hogpangpog is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, able snake.

Hogpangpog created a charm quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hogpangpog, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hogpangpog, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Hogpangpog's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Hogpangpog's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt tortoises.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Hogpangpog.

3. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Put Hogpangpog first in all things.