Vagbamsug is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, duplicitous bird.

Vagbamsug created the Sun seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagbamsug, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vagbamsug, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Vagbamsug's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Vagbamsug's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near rats while wearing gray jumpers and balancing eight platinum spheres on your arms.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not wear copper on your body.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.