Quillgabrutt is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, deceitful hippopotamus.

Quillgabrutt created parasitic wasps two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quillgabrutt, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quillgabrutt, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Quillgabrutt's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Quillgabrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed nuts to whales while wearing shorts.

2. Never write about quantum mechanics.

3. Retreat if eight sheep approach from the west.

4. Never talk about chlorophyll.

5. Feed all hungry dolphins.