Cintargab is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, witless capybara.

Cintargab created Africa two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cintargab, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cintargab, he will destroy your home solar system.

Cintargab's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Cintargab's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never think ill of sick ducks.

3. Hide from fawn cats for they are unholy.

4. Erect seven tin sculptures of Cintargab on top of important buildings.

5. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.