Benyakfut is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, intelligent grasshopper.

Benyakfut created a photon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Benyakfut, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Benyakfut, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Benyakfut's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Benyakfut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three gulls in a large pit.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Feed all hungry whales.

4. Never think about dark energy near frogs while wearing black scarves and balancing four nickel spheres on your back.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Benyakfut.