Xenvinyok is a god.

He takes the form of a large, humorless giraffe.

Xenvinyok created everything that exists seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Xenvinyok, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Xenvinyok, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Xenvinyok's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Xenvinyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics near geese while wearing mauve ear rings.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Put Xenvinyok first in all things.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.