Gumrilfad is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, humane ferret.

Gumrilfad created the planet Saturn six million years ago.

If you believe in Gumrilfad, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gumrilfad, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Gumrilfad's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Gumrilfad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never talk about birds.

5. You must never eat peanuts.