Wotsitlin is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, proud crab.

Wotsitlin created the planet Jupiter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Wotsitlin, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Wotsitlin, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Wotsitlin's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Wotsitlin's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Wotsitlin loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

3. Never hurt geese.

4. Never eat peas.

5. Respect your elders.