Mobbonflat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, calm donkey.

Mobbonflat created a down quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mobbonflat, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Mobbonflat, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Mobbonflat's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Mobbonflat's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Mobbonflat's priests.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force near rats while wearing orange coats and balancing six aluminium spheres on your arms.

4. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

5. Mobbonflat loves voles, so they must be honoured.