Yokkoplig is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, passionate scorpion.

Yokkoplig created the Cigar Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yokkoplig, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yokkoplig, he will not care at all.

Yokkoplig's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Yokkoplig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

3. Never write about chlorophyll.

4. Run away if five dogs approach from the south.

5. Never feed corn to voles while wearing mauve dresses.