Donyarlrig is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, confident hummingbird.

Donyarlrig created a bottom quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Donyarlrig, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Donyarlrig, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Donyarlrig's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Donyarlrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise stockings.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never write about enzymes.

5. Always look after injured snakes.