Likparkman is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, dishonourable mouse.

Likparkman created a bottom quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Likparkman, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Likparkman, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Likparkman's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Likparkman's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

5. Retreat if five ants approach from the west.