Govyartmad is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, benevolent badger.

Govyartmad created Asia four million years ago.

If you believe in Govyartmad, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Govyartmad, he will turn you into a slug.

Govyartmad's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Govyartmad's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not drink water in green rooms.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

5. Do not listen to music.