Tifsasfoss is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, two-faced donkey.

Tifsasfoss created a bottom quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifsasfoss, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tifsasfoss, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Tifsasfoss' most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Tifsasfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven geese approach from the east.

2. Never mention dogs.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Always help monkeys.

5. Do not make images of living things.