Quagwatsab is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, selfish goat.

Quagwatsab created the planet Saturn six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagwatsab, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quagwatsab, it will turn you into a rat.

Quagwatsab's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Quagwatsab's Holy Commandments

1. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Quagwatsab must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never talk about dark matter near dolphins while wearing magenta shoes and balancing four aluminium spheres on your neck.

5. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.