Nakpangfet is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, contented donkey.

Nakpangfet created a quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Nakpangfet, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nakpangfet, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Nakpangfet's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Nakpangfet's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. You must never eat wheat.

5. Do not speak about lemons.