Tikyarlfig is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, blissful otter.

Tikyarlfig created snails nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tikyarlfig, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tikyarlfig, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tikyarlfig's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Tikyarlfig's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured gulls.

2. Always wear indigo.

3. Never run in the presence of tortoises.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.