Yarpbonken is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, boastful salamander.

Yarpbonken created time and space nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yarpbonken, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Yarpbonken, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Yarpbonken's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Yarpbonken's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never mention eagles.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never bounce in holy places.