Jatpangomin is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, dishonest rat.

Jatpangomin created the Large Magellanic Cloud two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatpangomin, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jatpangomin, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Jatpangomin's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Jatpangomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics near sharks while wearing fawn shoes and balancing six lead spheres on your feet.

2. Run away from black porpoises, for they are unholy.

3. Do not eat corn.

4. Do not speak about onions.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.