Gutranquim is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, self-assured dugong.

Gutranquim created tapeworms nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gutranquim, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gutranquim, she will turn you into a worm.

Gutranquim's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Gutranquim's Holy Commandments

1. Put Gutranquim first in all things.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

4. Never bounce near sheep.

5. Never hurt whales.