Hassugarf is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, witless frog.

Hassugarf created the Sol system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hassugarf, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hassugarf, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Hassugarf's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Hassugarf's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear gray kilts.

2. Do not eat carrots.

3. Hide if five grasshopers approach from the west.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never think ill of sick geese.