Tarp is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, almighty newt.

Tarp created a charm quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarp, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tarp, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Tarp's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Tarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about snails.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tarp.

5. Hide if five ducks approach from the east.