Ratfabvanquimbissben is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, clever dryad.

Ratfabvanquimbissben created life eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ratfabvanquimbissben, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Ratfabvanquimbissben, he will turn you into a snail.

Ratfabvanquimbissben's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Ratfabvanquimbissben's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not speak about bananas.