Sombonkweebopnurfly is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, awesome scorpion.

Sombonkweebopnurfly created the Sunflower Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Sombonkweebopnurfly, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sombonkweebopnurfly, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Sombonkweebopnurfly's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Sombonkweebopnurfly's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

4. Run away from green seals, for they are unholy.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.