Gunlandon is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unsympathetic warg.

Gunlandon created the world nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gunlandon, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Gunlandon, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Gunlandon's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Gunlandon's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Run away from black mites, for they are unholy.

4. Always obey Gunlandon's priests.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.