Sawsanfar is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, omniscient hedgehog.

Sawsanfar created the Andromeda Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawsanfar, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sawsanfar, she will turn you into a snail.

Sawsanfar's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Sawsanfar's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Sawsanfar loves moths, so they must be respected.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sawsanfar.