Dubwitpid is a god.

She takes the form of a small, irritating jaguar.

Dubwitpid created everything that exists two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dubwitpid, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dubwitpid, she will turn you into a hamster.

Dubwitpid's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Dubwitpid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Squirrels are not to be trusted.

3. Always treat badgers with great respect.

4. Never feed onions to ants while wearing yellow hats.

5. Never think ill of sick turtles.