Kadbatzak is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, passionate dove.

Kadbatzak created the Cigar Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Kadbatzak, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Kadbatzak, she will think nothing of it.

Kadbatzak's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Kadbatzak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat onions.

2. Hide if five mites approach from the east.

3. Never write about optics.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kadbatzak.