Dimcetmat is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, two-faced whale.

Dimcetmat created parasitic wasps two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dimcetmat, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dimcetmat, it will turn you into a rock.

Dimcetmat's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Dimcetmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about photosynthesis.

2. Dimcetmat loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

3. Never wear coats.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Feed all hungry tapirs.