Kipnakfemvanwab is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, moody crab.

Kipnakfemvanwab created the Sombrero Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kipnakfemvanwab, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kipnakfemvanwab, it will destroy your home planet.

Kipnakfemvanwab's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Kipnakfemvanwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear white shirts.

2. Never feed carrots to voles while wearing tights.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.